Sunday, March 19, 2017

Week 9th, 10th and 11th morning skies!


Three weeks at once again!

I didn't expect that the last three weeks would be physically and mentally exhausting for me! It was almost insane.

I had some very interesting tests given by my lead to work on. Since my main project is still in very initial phase (supposed to start rolling tomorrow), I had some free time to do it.

The tests were very interesting, but for my standard, it is difficult. I had to recall some of my Uni classes (database) to work on it. I mean, it wasn't particularly a class I liked although I still got an A for Database Class though *smug* (and I couldn't remember a single thing, pathetic?) but I didn't think I would get it again here at work.

Very unexpected, right?

So I asked for emergency helps early since I assumed that the database questions were the easiest among all. Database and SQL particularly is not an easy branch of programming (According to lousy me) so asking for help was slightly humiliating.

I wasn't getting many good responses though. So I gave up.


I was saved! Kotake helped me a lot in it! Very reliable leh! Thank you! 😚

And I got to spend two full days learning about it myself while consulting about little stuff. I guess I did just okay?

The other questions were analysis and concept problems so I spent so many days working on it. I had to manage my time since I helped working in other small stuff apart from this test too and I had so much fun juggling here, and there..

I lied.

I was so tired. 😭

Every time I was reminded with the test, I stressed a lot.

I wanted to finish the test fully. I wanted to do all the questions. I have said to my lead that I would finish it no matter what.. So I am going to finish it for real no matter what!

So it began.. The last three weeks, I spent longer time at office working on it while juggling on other little stuff. I kept on reminding myself: don't finish last minute..

Don't finish last minute..

Just, dont..

I finished it very very last minute. 😭😭😭😭

Last Friday, quite late at night.

I was supposed to submit it Friday EOD but I bargained with my lead and he said that he still accepted my submission even when the time is 23:59 (Lead, you are the best la!) so yeah I spent last Friday squeezing my brain dry for the last analysis and concept questions.

Exhausted, but I did it!

I managed to finish all of it! 💪

I shared my answer to fellow colleagues (as far as I know, they are too busy to do these tests) so I hoped my answers would help them understanding as they might have no time finishing it.

But I then thought about it.

I also didn't guarantee that all my answers are correct, how dare I share my answer sheet to them? Why am I so arrogant? 😞


I'd learn from them too.. If any discussions emerged. I'm going to look forward to discussions.

But my main project is starting and I am so excited for it! I would have to juggle between my works again but I guess it is okay.. While I am still young and free.. I realise that this chance of working my best on my career won't last forever so I want to enjoy this moment and work my best!

Fair enough, right? Dedicate myself to the present, and next time, dedicate myself to that time, and so on. 😀

I just realised, that I didn't realise, that I have been slightly, er, stressed.

I have hormones imbalanced again.. The moment I realised I am imbalanced again is when I check on my expenses and realised that I have spent less than usual..

I mean, I never went extra mile to go to supermart to buy the savior pads again. And I have been extremely tired and cranky lately. I am almost in an auto mode of being so kind almost 24/7 to everyone and I just don't have the mood to refuse anything that everyone requested to me.

I am not faking the help.

I am not faking the kindness.

I am just not wanting to refuse anything.. Even the ones I'd usually refuse. Just because the hormonal imbalance is here for some weeks now.

I believe this is the fifth (or sixth) time I get this hormonal imbalance in my life (and it ain't good, fml) and I won't rebalance myself at least for next few months.. Which is totally screwed out because I have many plans for next weekend and on May and I don't want my imbalance-ness to ruin all my plans.

Anyway, I'd need to figure this out myself by at least, removing the unconscious stress within my brain.

But the worst is, I don't even know that I am stressed. I really cannot tell what caused it!

And because I cannot tell the stress source, I have no idea how to unstress myself!

What should I do?! 😡

I am so tired.. 😭😭😭😭

Is this mid-life crisis?



I am so tired. I wish for a holiday.

I am so tired to the point that this post is written three weeks since my last post. I won't abandon my blog. I have several drafts lining up.. Stay tuned!


Three weekends ago, I went to a primary school and meet this Uncle Leker!

I remembered I used to buy his Kue Leker each time he walked by in front of my house. I always the extra sweet ones, and his bananas are small, sticky and sweet, extra sweetness to my life la.

IDR 10,000 ($0.8) for 15 Kue Leker! I am so happy~ 😭😍😋

By the way, on January, my colleague and me did a dare: if I lose weight by March, they would buy me pizza. If I don't lose weight, I would buy them pizza.

Suddenly it is March.

And I fucking gained 2KG! 😭😭😭😭

I just noticed recently that my underwear have been extremely tight lately and I feel uncomfortable wearing certain clothes.. Fml.

I am so gonna cycle every evening now!! (Sounds like an empty line here..)

So anyway, I keep my words, so..


To celebrate me gaining weight. 😭😭😭😭

I was not happy at all.

And colleagues were so happy la (free pizza what?) so I decided that I want to turn the table!

I am increasing my movement daily.

I am taking stairs to my office every morning now!!!

I faked smile to take pictures to show y'all that I really took stairs. I know la, yadda yadda I only climb one story to take picture or whatever but I have been taking 5 stories daily for real instead of stealing a minute of sleep in the lift and not losing 50Cal.

I am so fit!

I am so healthy!

Then I bragged it to my colleagues and he said: Eh, taking stairs is only increasing your life span, it never burns your fat.

I~ don't believe~ in you~! 😡

Anyway, *cough*

Our office welcomed many managers from branch offices all around the world and I got to see many good looking people (European and American)! 😍💕

One Vietnamese gave us this sweet coconut biscuit:

I took picture because I cannot find any way of me would find this biscuit all by myself.. It was sweet! I like 😋

By the way, I never forget to take pictures of our beloved Merapi. She has been quite clear lately.. Yay!

Merapi and me. 😉

And by the way, it was blog's birthday on March 09!

Happy 8th birthday~ blog! 🎂🎉🎶

[2nd year, 3rd year, 4th year, 5th year, 6th year, 7th year]

There is no dedicated post this year because I am beyond tired for it.. And I didn't buy a proper cake, leh.. 😞

I hope this year blog will be more useful for everyone, and more happy posts will be written here. 😊

Thank you for all the supports! 💕

Lots of love ♥✨


  1. first of all; did you update the design of your blog? coz I just wanted to tell that I love it!
    2nd: I know what you mean about being stress. I am too! just the past two days I have been so stressed that I acted like nothing is a big deal? Like, I was so calm that I question my sanity? you know, that kind of stress? hahaha (maybe I'm going crazy).
    3rd: LOVE the Merapi and Me pictures. reminds me of Moana. hmmm..
    4th: I should celebrate gaining weight too. oh wait, I do that everyday already ahahaha
    5th: my only exercise nowadays are me walking from my office to my car which I parked very VERY far from my office block. :D but funny how I'm still not fit after all these weeks of exercising.
    6th: hwaiting with your upcoming project!

    I don't know how to identify what causes our stress. but I hope the walking up the stairs will clear yours becoz I once read that when you walk/jog/run, it will help you release stress ;)

    1. I did, a bit! Changed the bunny header ^^ Heheheh bcs I like looking at it. Thank you thank you! <3

      I know I know!! Like I have so much thoughts in my mind but outside I don't go rage!! Like I wonder why?? Am I fine?? Like keeping all these overload thoughts myself.. OMG!

      Moanaaa!! I think I'm left behind but I haven't watched it >.< Everyone says it is really good movie~ And the OSTs are so good!

      LOL!! Celebrate everyday alright!!

      Ahahahahaa!! Great exercise, still. I don't have any far carpark so I barely walk.. I did take stairs though but recently I have light head so I don't take stairs any more D:

      I agree. After sweating, usually my mood boosted up! But then, slowly, it crawls back.. >.<


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