I think it has been a while since I posted my pic? Teehee ♥ Sorry for the messy bed and sleeping Miki doggy.
I know I don't really lose weight. I am still with my short hair (it grows a bit). I also start to gain little faint wrinkles under my eyes due to me facing many monitors daily. But overall I am doing very fine.
Content and fine.
Old-friend meet up!
By the way, on Saturday afternoon, I made an appointment with my friends of more than 15 (I think?) years, Michi-chan!
She hasn't changed a bit--well we all changed, we all grew up but there is something inside my mind that still remember that my soul was once an extremely close bestie with her, and seemed like she does too.
So we had a really fun afternoon talking about everything!
And ate this huge fat-ass burger. Yummy!
I am staying in Jogja now so probably we will plan another meet up again in the future. So excited la because she was my extremely close friend and she remains so now! I am so glad we meet again, seems like something fun in my past is being revived!
I am so happy it is hard to explain. I both love and hate my past, and to be able to revive something I love without remember my past, I am very grateful of that.
The good thing is that I no longer remember why I hate my past. It was full of drama, don't exactly remember what kind of drama it was, haha.
Even since my MCU result came out, although it was pretty fine and I was relieved a lot (I thought I would score bad since I don't really have a good lifestyle) but there are still some things that are in my mind.
I sorta can feel that there is something definitely wrong with my body.
I don't dare to tell anyone first about this but I am seriously thinking to go to specialist within this week or next week. I have looked up for the symptoms online and the result is pretty bad lol. I don't wanna act pitiful saying I am very sick (although inside me I am praying daily that I am not actually getting those sickness). ^///^
Work starts to get busy again.
So far I have been catching up well and now I can proceed more leisurely since I now get used with feature updates project. That is fun, nice and entertaining although as I learn more each project, I find it less challenging. I really like the team that I work with--they are very helpful and very innovative. They also create very very very veryyy tidy documents that is extremely easy for me to learn.
I will note that in my mind and I shall make very tidy and easy notes in all of my works.
Looking for a Triple-A game
I joined an event at work that made me dizzy whole weekend last week. I stressed way more than I should have that it affects my health a lot. I think I relied on myself too much. I overestimated myself. I shouldn't have done that.
I should open myself more and listen to people around me--the ones I trust so much.
So my job is: I need to find one new Triple-A (3A) game for me to analyse. I have several keypoints on me and I need to analyse this certain game based on those keypoints. Simple.
The thing is: I don't really play 3A games. So this struck me hard--what game should I work on? I know for the best result, I need to choose a game I know really well. I wanted to do The Sims 3 but my boss said The Sims 3 won't do.
So I am vexed. I don't know what to do.
I spent last week and my weekend being on a very low mood--cursing at people who send me messages inside my head, losing appetite (which ironically gained my bloody weight) and sleeping longer than usual on weekend.
3A games are not really my thing because the current 3A game trends are heavy in motions, advanced camera arrangement, mostly 3D and bringing players to the inside game world that becomes more realistic now than ever.
And I cannot play those kind of games. Sadly because it is so easy for me to get headaches; including motion sickness and nausea. So any 3D RPG kind of games are not too friendly to me. My brain is too weak for them.
I feel sorry to myself. I feel like I am 30 years older. Hais.
I need help
Hard to say this out loud, but I seriously needed help.
I reached my limit on Saturday night that I couldn't handle the stress (of not knowing what 3A game to do) so I reached out for help.
I asked Meow Ranger and my former uni classmate: two gamers I know who are doing pretty fine. I asked them at about the same time on Sunday and they gave me few titles to consider.
I felt really ashamed.
Why would they help me? I am so thankful that they--without second thought--helped me to think about what 3A-ish game should I do. Of course, firstly I made sure that they were not busy because I was asking for a help and I never ever wanted to disturb them even a single minute for my own sake. Since their status were 'In game' I was hesitated to ask but they kept on replying me and asking me stuff so I felt like I was helped sincerely.
So I collected these titles: Dragon Ball Xenoverse, Gravity Falls, Persona 4, Tamagotchi Collection Shop, Chicken Little.
The latter is the worse candidate, I know ^^;
I submitted one title Meow Ranger gave me: Dragon Ball Xenoverse. And surprisingly, my boss OK-ed it directly!!
Really really really thank you! Hontou ni hontou ni hontou ni arigatou!
Even better, one of my colleague HAVE IT!
I was thinking to look for the trial version online to at least try the game before buying it (the game is way too expensive for me) but one of my friend suddenly told me: "Eh I have it! I let you try it!"
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you even for being so generous and let me try to play the game! I don't know I can be this blessed.
The downside is I can only play the game at office but it doesn't matter. I will try to stay longer than usual and I will make sure to make a great analysis for this!
Without your help I might have fainted for being over-stressed. I don't know why it took me so long and hard to look for one title but I really couldn't help but to panic and stress over it. I am sorry I am this kind of person, I am so closed and it is extremely hard for me to share my problems.
I, once again, learnt the hard way that overthinking and stressing aren't worth it. I need to learn to tell myself: It is going to be alright! Stay positive, stay confident, stay kind, be happy!
Besides, I think my health issue above is caused by my overthinking and stressing. I need to let everything go, because in the end, it is going to be alright.
Every little thing is good!
Lots of love ♥