Thursday, March 3, 2016

How to be strong?

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How am I doing?

Honestly, I don't know whether to say OK or not. I am not not OK but I am also not OK either. I don't understand, it feels like my body is aching thinking about whether I am OK or not.

What a damned waste of energy.

Meanwhile, I am doing great on my routine, learned so many things on a few days (and many more in the future!) and had so much fun learning about current super-cute project.

All my colleagues are so nice and fun to work with and I am glad that I am always blessed with this.

The tasks are hard, but I am learning.

It is nice to know that there are something I look forward everyday, but also something inside me still feels uncomfortable.

I have been thinking to cut off connection to some more people, but I have no idea how to do it. I cannot just randomly type something like "Hey, let's not talk to each other again. Sayonara." wtf.

Cutting off connection is practically impossible for me but I need to learn to say "No" to what I don't want. It is too hard for me.

But I know it is a must-have skill.

And I perfectly know how will the other end feel if I do this.

I mean, we are doing very fine, just great. But there are things in me that I want to withdraw for so many reasons.

I don't know. I need to learn to love myself much more not to let me accept things that I don't want. Why idiot me is still going with something that I clearly don't want, just because I don't want to hurt the other person?

I am scared about how the other person will react, so I keep saying "Yes" on something I clearly don't want!

I need more more strength!

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Meanwhile, I am collecting sky pics again.





How to be strong enough to hurt people for the sake of myself?


Lots of love ♥

4 comments:

  1. Am I the person causing you trouble?? I'm so sorry if I am x___x
    Hope you find the resolve to keep on moving forward, senpai!!

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    Replies
    1. o__O eh erm hahahahahahahahaa of course not!! Well, even not the least it is youuu hahahaa don't worry xD I was talking about my old friend whom I haven't talked to for so long and then he tried to reconnect to me a few times last year xD

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    2. ohh, glad that's the case then XD
      ah I see2, is it that tiring interacting with him??
      Hope you cheer up!! :D

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    3. Hahahaha! Yeah it is very tiring! It sucks =/
      I am doing fine now~~ Thank you!!

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