My blog turns 7 today! [2nd year, 3rd year, 4th year, 5th year, 6th year]
Now that I got my own money, I buy you a super small $2 doggie cake =D
It sounds awesome when I said it, but in my seven years of blogging it was not always sunshine and happiness.
There are depressing things that made me consider so many times to close the blog. I am so happy now that I overcame most of my depressions and continuing blogging.
She has been with me in all of these years, there is no way I can be so heartless and close it down. She has been a huge part of me.
My blog is my best friend who has been listening to all my stories, medium between me and my readers, someone who passively responds to my messy mind and carves it into beautifully written posts.
My blog passively teaches me how to creative writing for world-wide audiences.
My blog lets me open connection to everyone around this world and gives me priceless experiences.
My blog also gives me chances to have awesome relations with many online shops that entrust me to give their products try.
My blog has been witnessing me growing from fun high school life, amazing university life and exciting journey to find myself and what I want to do in life.
And most importantly, my blog helps me keep my journal of life. Not all of it, but most part of it.
I--surely--curate many of my blog posts. My main purpose is to keep privacy, as I recently has learnt that online activities lure so many dangers.
So since last few years, I start to curate many of my blog posts.
I always do these things for precautions: re-read my blog draft for at least 5 times before publishing it, camouflage friends' names, (partly) censor their faces, censor any sensitive information such as: where I study, where I work, my address, phone number, licence plate number and many more.
However, by doing all those things above, does it reduce my blog posts authenticity and originality?
Don't worry, it doesn't.
I merely protect privacy of mine and everyone around me. However, all those posts that appear ridiculous or depressing, no matter how much it doesn't make sense, it all happened in my life.
Not to say that I haven't really done much in my life though *sigh* but the main purpose of this blog is to remove the excess burden my brain has. I have a very active and noisy brain and I need space to organise it.
Talking about it, it inspires me to do more things la! This can be motivation for me to blog more fun and extraordinary things in the future.
Lastly, and most importantly, I have decided to make a promise on blog's 7th birthday:
♥I will be happy and I will love more♥
The explanation will be super long (and it's worth separate blog post), but starting from this 7th year of me blogging, I will do my best to post more and more happy and fun posts!
The reason is: I want to stop torturing my body with depression.
On last post I said:
I don't know whether to say OK or not. I am not not OK but I am also not OK either. I don't understand, it feels like my body is aching thinking about whether I am OK or not.
I didn't know thinking that I am not OK lead me to aching body.
Literal aching body.
I fell sick on Saturday (if you wonder there was no blog post on weekend like usual?) and it was horrible.
It felt like all of the bad thoughts and depressions all accumulated within my body and it felt like a thin layer of hot air surrounded me, putting me in so much pain that I had a hard time sleeping on my bed.
My normally cosy and cool bed felt super freezing when I was sick so I moved to dad's bedroom which is slightly warmer. Spent almost whole weekend sleeping and lying on bed and was unable to do anything.
Looking at lamps makes me sick. Gaining conscious tortured me so much but falling asleep was equally difficult. It was crazy last weekend. =(
I struggled to use the bathroom and I almost fainted so many times that it felt crazy. Had a hard time hearing since I had inflammable sore throat, and my ears were affected.
Lucky I didn't lose my voice because if I did, I wouldn't be able to tell dad to take Moomoo from my room to my place. Hahah. Just kidding.
Before I moved to dad's bedroom, I wrote on my HP note that I will be happy and I will love more. I didn't know why that was like my motivation to cure myself. I have decided to let go all of my grudges and anger toward many people. I told myself that when I get better I will be more more happy and more more loving.
I finally felt okay on Monday so I decided to go out and work on my stuff, although I still looked so swollen and horrible:
|Taken at office's toilet. LOL.|
Medical mask is SO UGLY. Yuck.
It makes me look like a TBC patient that everyone avoids XD
I managed to find a pink one at home (sis bought like a hundred of Medical masks for her study hahah) but I hated it. I got headache wearing it entire day--I cannot have any pressure around my ears: hairbands, glasses, pulled hair, masks--for too long, it gives me bad headache.
And I lost bloody 3KG in two days. Should I be happy?
Should I be horrified?
I don't know.
I still haven't gained my appetite back. I didn't feel like eating anything (and it is already Wednesday!) and so far I only eat bread, chicken tomato, fried white eggs and corn flakes. Apart from it, and if nobody tell me to eat, I won't eat because I am not hungry at all.
Body please be well soon because I really really want to eat hamburger happily!
*brb taking a new pack of tissue to blow on* =(
So I am left with cough and flu now, I can already work on my stuff again and enjoy the failed solar eclipse, and now it is time to do what I promised when I fall sick.
I will be happy, more more happy for myself that nothing will take that away from me. I will spread happiness to everyone to spread it to others as well.
I will be loving, more more loving to myself, my family and everyone kindhearted and nice to me. I will give love in many ways to many people, hoping it will make their days.
Lots of love ♥