I learnt a really good lesson on last few weeks.
It is a super personal thing so I won't jot down that much details. But I will try to spill as much as I can, because this blog purpose is for sharing.
"Sharing is caring ♥"
So, I learnt to live today.
This contradicts my usual belief that I always love to dream. I am always excited to my future! I love to have visualising dream, Law of Attraction as how people say it nowadays.
Technically, I create my dreams. That interests me, so I dream a lot.
My most common dreams are:
* Healthy and blessed life for me (and everyone around me).
* Improve my drawing skills.
* Earn money enough for me (and everyone around me) to live well and prosper.
* More opportunities for me to explore the world.
* Find what I want to do in my life.
Common dreams, okay.
I have uncommon dreams as well:
* I wish for courage to love people who hurt me.
* To be able to see the good side in everything.
* I wish to see the border between world and heaven; the enlightment.
Okay it is called uncommon because I am scared of dreaming those points. I mean, I am still in between okay and not okay for those dreams.
Now, talking about me.
I am the girl who most people called: mysterious, not that much talking, and deep.
Most of my friends called me: born-creative, talented, fun, and timid as well.
My closest people to me called me: exaggerated, noisy, insane, clumsy, lazy, cute, kind and idealist.
Myself called me: cute *cough*, cruel, evil, bad, harsh, more selfish than selfless, and having unlimited ideas sparking out from my head twenty-four seven. That I have always been a night owl (yet I keep preaching people not to be a night owl, shame on me).
To be honest, I should say.
I might appear kind, girly, nice and yadda yadda. (Thanks to my innocent look face? haha)
I might sound very open, I tell people everything about me, I share everything about me, I love to share stories and I love listening to stories #typeO #forreal
But in my deepest chamber of heart, I am waaaay more than that.
I have hidden cards inside me. Many many of it; and it will take you to pass your limit line for me to spill even one of it.
I am that 5 centimetres tip of the hugest iceberg in this world. People may think they know everything about me, but they don't.
Even my own parents don't know everything about me.
And trust me, I sometimes have to go through the trouble to understand myself.
I don't think letting people know about me nakedly has its own benefits anymore. I stop giving people trump cards to live my life. I start to be more selfish than the normally selfish me.
Okay I do feel that I mostly am selfless because I love to see people happy to achieve their dreams, but I also have significant amount of selfishness inside me.
I want myself to be happy, I want to achieve my dreams by any (good) means.
I hate things, I don't forget, I don't forgive. I hold grudges.
You can say it is hell inside my heart hahaha *cough* for real.
Okay, going back here.
So my point is, it doesn't matter how everyone defines me.
I am me.
And everyday I change.
Everyday I grow. Everyday my brain grows some cells of wisdom, and rots some of it as well.
Everyday I learn and I look forward. I never look back.
I believe past is behind for a reason. No scientific experiments have ever proved that we can step even one second backward in this life.
I also believe that future is unknown for a good reason as well. I believe there is no need for us to know what is going to be happen in the future.
Even if time-travel is possible, I wish to know the reason why.
Sure, it is exciting and fun and amazing. But I wish that everything remains the way it is now. No meddling the past, and no kaypo-ing the future.
So let's say if you know that you are going to die tomorrow, what do you want to do now then?
Tell people the things you are dreading to tell? Buy things you want to forever? Say 'I love you' to everyone you love but you don't dare to? (Tbh I don't do it as well, just because I am not accustomed for saying my feelings).
And other countless things I believe you would do whatever you want to do without worrying about anything; just because it is your last day of breathing.
Why should you wait to your knowledge of your death day to do all of those things above?
Why don't you do all of those things above, right now? You have no knowledge what is going to happen tomorrow.
I can see that this is people nowadays' logic; let's do it later, we still have time. I have more important things to worry about now, can't I worry about my ownself?
Well, you surely can. I never tell you to stop what you are doing.
I just want you to take a look above you sometimes, take a deep breath, look at the sky, and enjoy that very moment of yours.
I am not advising you to let go all of your problems and worries like you are going to die tomorrow. You are responsible of yourself, so if you have problems, take your time and enjoy every single day solving it.
What I want is for people to sometimes let go of their problems, take a deep breath and understand that it is okay not to get everything as how they want it to be.
Everyone has their own problems, and it depends on everyone how they face it. Some people are more carefree than the rest; and it is really okay.
My two-cents for people who are stressed over it that it takes their soul away until they cannot live their life:
Don't worry too much, nobody knows what is going to happen. Just do your best now, do what makes you happy. Because that is the only important thing. You are the only person who can feel the effect from what your mind is thinking, make it good. Why would you want to make yourself miserable?
I always like the quote: "Live today as if it were your last."
When you fully realise that it is your last day, you won't waste a single second to worry about anything else. You will suddenly realise that it is important to enjoy your every single breath, to treasure this very moment.
To truly live today.
Sure, I believe that not everyone can settle their mind problems fast. Everyone takes their time to settle their emotional baggage, to find out what they want to do in this life, to cautiously plan about what they think as their perfect future.
I do that, everyone does that, this is human nature of intelligence. And I am really proud us as human being.
But what saddens me is that people always think they have time--that they stop doing what is truly important: to live today and to be happy. They work so hard to the unknown future that they stop caring about their own happiness.
Truth to be said: they don't know whether they have that enough time they have always accounted.
always think that it is okay for them to do all of things they want
later because they need to sort out their worry and problems slowly.
They believe that happiness is a result of achieving something. Happiness is something to look for out there. Happiness will come once you have overcome your problems.
That is just wrong.
I learnt another thing recently that happiness is none of those things above.
Happiness is not a result of achieving something. Happiness is not something you look for outside. Happiness doesn't lie behind your problems.
The truth is, happiness is something you grow inside you. It is your own state of mind. You can be happy by altering how you think about yourself, and everyone else, and everything else.
It is somewhat related with my main topic today. You can be happy by living today, accepting life the way it is, working hard to achieve your dreams, and never stressing anything.
There are tons of happiness theories available on internet, you may apply anything that suits yourself the best. As long as it really makes you happy, then that is what matters.
And I am happy for you if you can discover that for yourself.
The good thing about this is that you can stop worrying about looking for happiness, because you can grow it by yourself inside your heart. In fact, that is the only way for you to achieve true happiness that won't disappear.
So you have one less thing to worry about, and you can live today more easily. Isn't that a good thing?
But there is another common case, let's say that there are some things you have been working your hardest as it is your ultimate dream, and it doesn't go as how you wish it should be.
There will be disappointments, but don't let it eat your happiness. Accept it, and stay happy. If you want things to be different, then change your perception about it and work harder for it. Pursue your dreams happily, and still remember to live today. Because that is what matters.
Your happiness is what matters, nothing else.
Besides, we don't know what is going to happen tomorrow. And I think it is a good thing that we don't know.
Nobody knows. Not even any of the best fortune tellers in this world. They may have abilities to tell your fortune, but they cannot predict what is going to happen in the future.
Let's say, a fortune teller tells a man that this year he will prosper. Unless he works hard and live his life for it, he will not prosper magically.
I believe fortune tellers are giving advice to people so that people will be encouraged to live his life better. Both good and bad tellings are meant to encourage people to do better and harder in their life. There is no reason for them that upon receiving those tellings they will stop live their life.
Fortune tellers may help (some) people, but in the end the person who will enjoy what you do everyday is only you. People around you are not going to enjoy it, they are going to enjoy themselves upon what they have done in their life.
That it comes to my realisation that worrying too much about your past and your future is a completely useless thing to do.
One simple reason: you can do nothing about it.
As I said above, past is behind for a good reason. So is future, unknown for a good reason.
My point here is that, I need to live today.
We all need to live today.
I am not the type that dwells in the past, because I hate reminiscing memories. I know this against my purpose of blogging, but I really want my past to remain in the past; unless I want to reminisce few things for a good reason.
I am the type that dreams of my future.
I learn to be excited toward amazing future! I am so excited daydreaming everyday and every night.
This is fun; until I no longer live today.
And this is where I made a huge mistake.
I am busy thinking about future that I no longer live today.
We all realise that the difference between life and death is only an unknown away. I realised this after receiving the news that my good friend passed away earlier this year.
And I learn that this may happen to everyone, tomorrow.
Or the next hour.
Or next minute; you know. The extreme kind. But still, it is possible.
Nobody knows what is going to happen in the future.
Everybody worries about it, but eventually I learned that it is not necessary.
You have your own worries, you are afraid of things.
But I learn that it won't take you anywhere.
Now that you think about this, you might worry that death might fetch you tomorrow or anytime it would be. Then you ask me how should I react to it.
Nothing I can do about it.
But if I live my life to the fullest today, I have no regret.
Regret, that is what everyone is afraid of right?
But that is not my point of talking about this.
I talk about: live today.
Don't dwell too much about your worries. Live today, enjoy today.
Sure, dreaming is good! I still do it. In fact, I do it all the time!
It is very important to plan about future; I am the type that plan things (not that detail though). It is very important to draw a blueprint of what you want to do in the future.
Long term plan is what they taught us to do in classes, and this is very useful.
But, as a person, be flexible. Plans need to be flexible; you will need the skill to adjust your plans to your circumstances.
Don't be too harsh to yourself.
I know some people are hitting their limits; I hit mine so many times. And my way of cooling it down is by blogging and sharing. I am that quiet person, but I always need to spill things out. This blog has been very patient in pilling all my thoughts, as I am not a person who is good in speaking this many things to people.
If you hit your limit in stress and worry, try to go outside of your cave, look for someone you can lean on. You don't have to spill everything out like me (I don't do that to people as well, anyway). I just believe by looking at other people (or animals, or plants, or anything else that calms you), it will chill you down.
That brings us to my point: live today. Don't stress things.
Live today as fullest as you can, realise your dreams, follow your plans, but don't forget to enjoy every second of it.
Sure, you might need to have a huge plan for your huge problems. Let's say, you wish to solve your big money problem by creating big plans in earning money.
Create your plans, dream high, and work your best to achieve it.
But never stress it, never let worry and discourage eats your soul away.
Do all things above happily, enjoy every breath you take.
My father always tells me this: never be afraid, and never regret.
Never be afraid to do what you think is right; live today.
And never regret what have you done, look forward and walk happily.
Live today, and stay happy. Because that is what matters.
Lots of love ♥