While I was in front of my laptop, stared on my Thesis files and typed nothing much; then I would grab anything around me and eat eat eat. My appetite grew so huge until I felt bad to myself and wanted to punish myself.
The other day, I was barely hungry in entire day and felt like switching off my phone and cut communication with everyone.
Yesterday I was exploding myself inside my room, threw my dolls on bed and stepped on them. Almost cursed people who chatted me and lucky enough I could stop my thumbs from typing shits.
I was a bit frustrated these few days (which, I should say it again, a weird pms for me this time) and I felt so emotional about some of my friends--I even had the crazy thought of wanting to pop the balloon and just be less cute and more scary, confront them, and step on their heads.
Crazy thoughts -__-
Then I had that painful sore chest last night and I regretted everything that I have thought.
Think bad, feel bad. Think good, feel good.
Then I tried to set aside those feelings and enjoyed myself with more foods and anime. I can consider myself as a simple cute girl somehow? XD
So, unable to drive myself to eat properly, I have realised that I have this moment when watashi kore, sore, are wa tabetakunai!!.
Literally translated as: I don't wanna eat this, that and that.
And it's a rare moment! I'm not an anything-eater, I'm extremely picky in eating but I do love to eat. So I think this is kind of weird on me and this is a bit scary because the moment I eat irregularly is the moment I will gain weight. Fml.
Soooo... In order for myself to release more endorphin hormones and feel happier, I've been having what I should say Happy dinners lately!
Not Happy breakfast, not Happy lunch, but it's Happy dinners!
For some reasons these Happy dindins really make me so happy and ensure me to gain noticeable weight!
|Very simple Happy pasta! I added Happy poached egg and surprisingly its shape turned SO AWESOME SMOOTH ROUND SHAPE! I'm a genius chef *laugh*|
|Another Happy pasta day! With sad Gon *cry*|
|Happy biscuit for Happy dinner. For real!|
|Happy Milo for midnight thrilling Anime!|
|The other Happy dinner on the other day. Much woov!|
|Apple chips for dinner (while watching |
Cooking gives me so much joy and happiness that is indescribable; the joy of eating what I make is weird--but again, probably it's already flowing in my blood. *wink*
Under my Major Thesis stress and pressure, I pledge myself to eat properly because I want to do both my Major Thesis and lose weight simultaneously.
That's very possible!
Lots of love ♥