The utmost hint that you love what you do is that you never realise time flies.
Who knows that there is only two weeks left of me for my internship.
I'm both happy and sad over this fact!
Happy that I will return to Semester 7 reopens.;
Sad that I will leave good friends that I've made at company.
Got so immersed that it's only counting days that I will officially finish my internship at A* Company and return to beloved uni /lol
Then that day where my cool supervisor came to my desk and looked at me with serious face.
I was like: Snap, I must have done some mistakes.
Then he called my name and paused for few seconds that felt like hours and continued his sentences:
I was like: "Yes?" *puppyeyes* *sweetvoice*
"Do you want to extend your Internship?"
My heart bursted. Out of relief. Gained a relieved smile also hahahaha.
He added: "Yeah, extend until December 19th?"
I literally went: "Whaaaaaaat????" never cared that I said that out loud to my Supervisor. Man how mannerless was I!?
"Extend, internship, until December?"
"Yeah, 3 months!" With that big smile that makes everyone goes nervous hahahaha.
My internship partner was also stoned upon hearing that request from our Supervisors and we looked at each other's eyes--not knowing what to say.
"I am, urm, we are, well, e-extending is, erm... We will have classes, though not that many, but still, we do have classes, so, urm..." Why was it so hard to me to form sentences shit shit I looked so bodoh shit shit.
So he just casually said: "Okay just think about it" with literally this face :D erm so I was just okok-ed him.
And I went super emo since that day.
To accept? Or to refuse?
I have tons of thought about this matters; probably I think about this the way too exaggerated comparing to how people would do--but this seriously is a very very big splitted road.
My basic belief that I love having tons of things to do support me to accept this offer. Continuing internship would give me more chance to learn about this project for the sake of my internship weighing from the massive amount of data that we would be using for our final thesis. Nevertheless, within only less than 3 months of having internship at this consulting company, I have learned so so so so much and I am really happy over that. Besides, I will get to know more people there and get to have loads of new connections and that's just a good capital for myself?
My common sense of loving to do fun things even in the middle of hecticness support me to refuse this offer. You do understand that I lose my regular blogging time due to my heavy workloads at internship; if I would do both my university, my final thesis and my internship regularly; I confirm I will lose my leisure time to meditate and blog. Somemore I will most likely ignore my final thesis during extended internship because the workloads on October are damn siaoooo and that would make my parents very very sad. And that thought makes me sad as well. Not to mention that the office to my place is super far like hell. Maybe none of my friends realise, but going there and home everyday for that distance, daily with Jakartan's traffic jam is exhausting both mentally and physically. I just never really whined about it since it's just my responsibility that I took.
Talking about responsibility, my final thesis de responsibility is fully placed in my hand, not in anyone's else.
So, these thoughts brought me crazy. Called my parents on the first thing when I was super excited and almost said that I would be able to overcome all of the tired-ness of these things until my parents discussed about it and said: "I don't think you should accept it--your final thesis is your first priority right?"
FYI, I'm that person that tries to defend my belief first before judge how people think about one thing, so I defended my thought: "I think both working and studying will be awesome! Don't you think it's a great chance?"
Parents were actually being wise and let me decide upon what I think would be the best for me; by firmly hold the whole responsibility of being super tired and may affect my final thesis and the defence. But deep inside I could notice that they wanted me to reject the offer.
I was like: "That's very true--and though my first thought went all idealist; I fully realise that I'm not a hardworker. So, taking immediate decision is not wise for me."
So I went to the second person I really like to ask for opinions: Fatty ranger meow! Immediately messaged him: "Help me! I'm so emo, spv asked me to extend the internship!"
He responded: "But university? How?"
I just said what was on my mind--talked back and forth about I would be losing my leisure time and the possibility of ruining my final thesis because the project on internship is currently very very hectic.
He just asked me a few times whether I can cope with all of these things; same questions like my parents asked me beforehand. The more I thought about it; the more I come to realisation that I'm not a hardworker person. I'm totally not one.
So I just replied: "I don't know."
And he asked me: "If you extend, what will you get?"
So I went long and wide, that I would get intangible things such as networking, impression, etc etc. These answers seemed like it didn't satisfy him; that he didn't really agree of me accepting this internship because he believed this offer's odds goes to the company and I might be wasting my time not maximizing both sides (internship and final thesis). So I really appreciated his answers.
And I happened to ask few of my good friends about this and most of them wanted me to focus on my final thesis--it's a one in a lifetime final thesis and there will be tons of project I can apply in the future.
So? The decision?
I guess it's just obvious by now. But last night, I gave it last chance since mama came here for one night to take care of few things (and stopped by Lapangan Senayan to see EXO concert omg lol) so I asked her again: "What do you think?"
She answered: "My first thought is don't take it--but papa wanted me to decide it by myself and let me express my thoughts about it. That's why he just said he will support me whatever my decision would be."
So we had a long chat and it all pointed to one decision: reject the offer.
I kept of thinking that it's a pity--not until I offered mama on Satnite: "Wanna see my office?" and she was like: "Yes!" She likes late night driving too haha.
Reaching the office she was in shock: "Everyday you drive THIS FAR!?!?" and I was just laughed. She was shocked and said: "If I knew beforehand that you drive this far everyday to office, from morning to late night; I'll definitely tell you to reject the offer. Gila! You'll drive this far and you'll have classes and you'll have final thesis!? You'll just be a failed jelly."
I laughed upon her words--yeah so mama's words are always final.
Guess it's final: I'll reject the offer.
I'll come to my supervisor's desk tomorrow and told him that I won't accept the extension offer due to bad circumstances.
I feel very grateful to everyone who is very nice of giving me their thoughts upon this personal matter of mine! Hontou ni, I feel so happy to have all of you!
Lots of love ♥