So, I had a talk with my mama a few days ago (can't recall what day) and we're talking about kind of sensitive thing--Honesty.
This thing occupies my mind for a while.
In our family principles, Honestly is a must and no compromise. I have been taught to be honest and tell no lie probably since I was a baby (haha) xD
I was punished badly back then when I lied to my parents.
I fell down from a bike and was injured badly. My parents told me not to cycle on that day but I sneaked out and cycled instead. I was 4 or 5 years old at that time. I disobeyed my parents and went cycling, and fell down with injuries.
So my parents discovered it.
Asked me: 怎么得到这个 and I said: 不是我！不是我！
And I cried (;A;) because I couldn't lie and it was very obvious already I went out cycling. You know it needs extra effort to lie right? Especially for a child, it's hard to make up a story.
Then they told me: I know what happened, just tell us the real thing and we won't scold you for that. Even if you went outside the park, we won't scold you. We would only get angry if you're not being honest and make up another story.
So I told them everything and they then treated my injuries
Alright, it was my first lesson of lying--which I won't do that anymore.
Then some time ago, I asked my papa:
How about lying to protect the related person from being sad and hurt?
He answered, nope--lying with ANY reason is not acceptable. Any kind of white lie, angelic lie, any kind of that IS NOT ACCEPTABLE at all.
When you lie, you disrespect a person.
When you disrespect a person, you disrespect yourself.
When you disrespect yourself, you lose people's respect toward you.
When you lose people's respect toward you, you lose your value.
Since he told that to me, I never have intention to lie to everyone. I am commiting to be honest to everyone--about everything. But of course, we're human. None of us are perfect right? There will be some times I would find myself lie.
Last semester break, I went for a holiday--I wrote about it before right? I also wrote that: I didn't tell my mama about it. I never considered that thing as lying. By not telling her doesn't mean I lie right? That's what I thought in my mind.
But since this 'Honesty' disturbs my mind for quite a while, then the more I feel guilty about not telling my mama about my holiday. Then, not so long ago I confessed to my mama.
I told my mama I went for a holiday and spent much for it.
I wasn't prepared for any naggings and blamings, but then my heart skipped a beat when she said:
I know. I was expecting her to be so mad at me for spending so much, but then she said to me: You got to work hard to earn the money you've spent. I won't tell papa about how you spent so much but work hard to earn it back.
I honestly felt super sad when I know I could lose my trust from her *sobbing* But then I know that mother's love is always bigger than us--and then since that I have commited (once again) that I won't lie anymore--in any forms!
Especially to your family--it is like one of the biggest sin to lie.
If you lie to someone, people will eventually lie to you. It's real.
You would find it hard to trust people when you lie a lot, because you would think that: ah, I lie this this and this, he/she might lie about it too--so I can't trust them, and so on, and so on.
One of the biggest issue in a relationship concerns this too: Honesty!
Lying is one indicator that you don't respect your partner. When you lie, you're not respecting your partner. You might as well hiding things 'for his/her own good', and tons of excuses you'll make.
For me, lying is unforgivable because:
First: I lose my trust. I can never trust that someone has ever lied to me, they won't lie to me again in the future.
Second: I feel disrespected. This is true, when people lie to me, I would automatically think that : they never think that I deserve the truth. Which is human rights to deserve the truth.
Third: I am upset. Because I trust them and I respect them for honesty, while after I discover things that I am being lied, I can no longer trust them. Of course! There's no point of me keep trusting someone who lie to me right?
I am a person who respect myself (my priority), that's why it's unforgiveable for me to be lied and still feel okay about it. I might be hard on this topic but I just can't stand of being lied and cheated in this case.
Confessing to me that you lied would make me consider to forgive you, because by doing that I assume that you consider of respecting me and make me deserve the truth.
No matter how good you hide the truth, eventually people will find it out.
So, by lying to people (and me), when you think it's fine when I won't discover it--please don't think that way.
It's the best to confess before the victim find out--that's what I think in my mind.
Consider to respect your parents, your partners and everyone by being honest :)
Lots of love♥